There are many types of memory. Let’s talk about two of them: Implicit Memory and Narrative Memory. Implicit memories are memories about specific events. What did you have for breakfast this morning? What outfit did you wear yesterday? Which people did you talk to today? The answers to these questions are implicit memories. Narrative memories are memories that try to […]
Memories: Making the Pieces Fit
Consequences and Letting Go
Consequences and letting go is about recognizing the choices we make that lead to consequences we don’t want to experience. Such choices have a tendency to be self-sustaining. That is because we usually make choices in the belief that those choices will make the problem better. But if we continue to make choices that we know aren’t going to make […]
Process Addictions
A process addiction is similar to a substance addiction, except that instead of being addicted to a drug, the person with a process addiction is addicted to a cluster of behaviors. Examples of process addictions would include eating disorders, sexual addictions, and gambling addictions. A process addiction is an addiction to a process or a pattern of behavior. Emotional aggression […]
Choices and Ruminating Cycles
Our choices are sometimes a result of our ruminating cycles. Have you ever had a thought that led to another thought, and then another, and so on until your thoughts are snowballing out of control? If so, you’ve experienced a ruminating cycle. When we make choices after engaging in ruminating cycles like this, our choices aren’t usually the type of […]
Controlling Others
“Never underestimate your power to change yourself; never overestimate your power to change others.” -H. Jackson Brown Jr. Controlling others is an attempt to make others responsible for our own emotional states. The actions that happen in our lives lead to a response. That response is a set of beliefs and behaviors about what just happened. When I act on […]
Mindful Self-Control
“Happiness is the absence of the pursuit of happiness.” –Chuang Tsu Self-control is a requirement for happiness. This quote by Chuang Tsu reminds us that if we are happy, there is no need to pursue happiness, and that if we are pursuing happiness, then it is obvious that we must not be happy! So how can self-control lead to happiness? […]
Aggressive vs. Assertive Communication
In mindful communication, we learn to communicate in ways that are assertive rather than aggressive. By setting firm boundaries in non-aggressive ways, our interactions with others become assertive without resulting in hurt feelings, arguments, or conflict. If setting boundaries does lead to conflict, learning to be assertive rather than aggressive allows us to find peaceful and productive resolutions to differences […]
Living in True Self
The humanist psychotherapist Carl Rogers spoke of the ideas of Self-Image and Ideal Self. This Self-Image, sometimes referred to as the Perceived Self, is the way we perceive ourselves to be. The Ideal Self is the image we have of how we would like to be. Living in True Self means consciously choosing to be your Ideal Self as much […]
The 7Cs – Compassion
“If your compassion does not include yourself it is incomplete.” – Jack Kornfield People who have difficulties with emotional aggression are generally people who care deeply about the people in their lives. They have the capacity to be very caring and compassionate people. Their emotional aggression is often the result of attempting to express their compassion in maladaptive ways. If […]
Signs of an Emotionally Aggressive Relationship
Emotional aggression is the aggressive use of our own emotional states in an attempt to manipulate or control others, or in an attempt to make others responsible for our moods. If I hold others responsible for my emotional state, I am being emotionally aggressive. Likewise, if I attempt to control the emotional states of others against their will, I am […]
Translate »