The Litany Against Fear

I must not fear.Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.Only I will remain. Litany Against Fear from Frank Herbert’s […]

Consequences and Letting Go

Consequences and letting go is about recognizing the choices we make that lead to consequences we don’t want to experience. Such choices have a tendency to be self-sustaining. That is because we usually make choices in the belief that those choices will make the problem better. But if we continue to make choices that we know aren’t going to make […]

Body Communications

Body communications are a way of learning about how our bodies respond to emotional situations. Automatic processes are processes that we have engaged in so often that we don’t even have to think about them anymore. Remember when you first learned to drive a car? You were probably nervous, trying to remember all the rules of the road, what all […]

Internal Validation vs. External Validation

`“If it’s never our fault, we can’t take responsibility for it. If we can’t take responsibility for it, we’ll always be its victim.”` -Richard Bach, author Internal Validation is the art of validating ourselves. We all like to be validated. It’s why we have relationships in the first place. We enter relationships so that others can support us emotionally. This […]

Aggressive vs. Assertive Communication

In mindful communication, we learn to communicate in ways that are assertive rather than aggressive. By setting firm boundaries in non-aggressive ways, our interactions with others become assertive without resulting in hurt feelings, arguments, or conflict. If setting boundaries does lead to conflict, learning to be assertive rather than aggressive allows us to find peaceful and productive resolutions to differences […]

Externalization: Experiencing the Person, not the Problem

One way to live a life of compassion is to see the person, not the problem. This is done through externalization. If we are able to take the viewpoint that the person is separate from the problem, then we are able to experience the person, and not the problem. Such a perception sees the person as separate from the problem. […]

Wise Mind and Being Non-judgmental

Wise Mind is a stable balance between Emotional Mind and Rational Mind. Emotional aggression comes solely from Emotional Mind. Emotional aggression is emotion run rampant. Emotional avoidance, on the other hand, comes solely from Rational Mind. It is devoid of emotion. Rational Mind can be cold and unfeeling, and in response to emotional aggression, Rational Mind results in an emotional […]

The 7Cs of Family Resilience

All families encounter problems from time to time. When families go through a crisis, some fall apart, while others manage to “ride the storm out” and come through the other side relatively intact. Research has shown that families who manage to handle a crisis effectively all have certain characteristics in common. These characteristics are called resiliency factors. Family Resilience Factors […]