“Happiness is the absence of the pursuit of happiness.” –Chuang Tsu Self-control is a requirement for happiness. This quote by Chuang Tsu reminds us that if we are happy, there is no need to pursue happiness, and that if we are pursuing happiness, then it is obvious that we must not be happy! So how can self-control lead to happiness? […]
Mindful Self-Control
Mindfulness and Control
“He who angers you conquers you.” -Elizabeth Kenny Mindful Ecotherapy relies on the 7Cs of family resilience. These resilience factors help you to better weather the storms that come with life. The second ‘C’ of the 7Cs of family resilience is “control.” If someone has the ability to anger you, then that person just controlled you. If you allow others […]
Validating vs. Condoning
One of the skills of mindful communication is Validating vs. Condoning. Look at the picture above and describe what you see. Did you see an old lady, or a young lady? If you saw both, which did you see first? Now assume your partner saw the old lady in the picture, and you saw the young lady. Which of you […]
Body Communications
Body communications are a way of learning about how our bodies respond to emotional situations. Automatic processes are processes that we have engaged in so often that we don’t even have to think about them anymore. Remember when you first learned to drive a car? You were probably nervous, trying to remember all the rules of the road, what all […]
Mindful Communication Skills
To be mindful is to be present in the moment. Mindful listening means being present in the conversation, without assumptions or conclusions, and without trying to anticipate what your partner is going to say, or without ‘reading into’ the conversation (assuming things that weren’t really said). Mindful listening is a practice that involves fully focusing your attention on the speaker […]
Family Resilience Worksheet
The Family Resilience Worksheet lists the 7Cs of Resilience and asks you to rate yourself and your family on each of these resilience factors. This worksheet targets areas for improvement. Once these areas of improvement have been identified, you can concentrate on building your skills in areas where you need help. The 7Cs of Family Resilience The 7Cs of Mindful […]
Externalization: Experiencing the Person, not the Problem
One way to live a life of compassion is to see the person, not the problem. This is done through externalization. If we are able to take the viewpoint that the person is separate from the problem, then we are able to experience the person, and not the problem. Such a perception sees the person as separate from the problem. […]
Don’t Lose Your Marbles!
A fun way to practice mindfulness is the “Don’t Lose Your Marbles” exercise.The purpose of this exercise is to become aware of how many times throughout the day we have negative thoughts about ourselves and our families. As we become aware of that pattern of negative thoughts, we can replace them with positive, more compassionate thoughts. Those positive thoughts lead […]
Living in True Self
The humanist psychotherapist Carl Rogers spoke of the ideas of Self-Image and Ideal Self. This Self-Image, sometimes referred to as the Perceived Self, is the way we perceive ourselves to be. The Ideal Self is the image we have of how we would like to be. Living in True Self means consciously choosing to be your Ideal Self as much […]
Creating a Positive Reality
“Focus on the doughnut, not the hole!” -Dr. Garry Landreth The way to be compassionate every day is to create a positive reality around you. Instead of focusing on the ‘hole’ of what you don’t have, focus on the ‘doughnut’ of what you do have. One way to do this is to create a positive ruminating cycle by identifying a […]
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