In previous blogs we’ve talked about the idea of ruminating cycles. If I have a negative thought, and that negative thought leads to two or three more negative thoughts, then those negative thoughts lead to a couple of dozen more negative thoughts, I am ruminating on negative thoughts. “Ruminating” literally means “to chew on.” So a ruminating cycle is a […]
Ruminating Cycles and Triggers
The Assumptions-Perceptions-Reality Triad
Our assumptions work together to create our perceptions, and our perceptions create our reality. Let’s take a closer look at how this process works. Suppose I have an assumption that, “Everybody in the world is out to get me.” That assumption will set my perception filter to look for evidence that supports my assumption. So any time anyone acts towards […]
Managing Beliefs
Managing beliefs is a way of dealing with patterns of behavior that lead to emotional aggression. When we can look at the assumptions that support our beliefs, we can better manage our behaviors and avoid the tendency to respond with emotional aggression. Looking over your answers from the Signs of an Emotionally Aggressive Relationship questions last week, did you identify […]
Process Addictions
Emotional aggressors can sometimes become addicted to their gaslighting behaviors. The three major symptoms of an addiction are withdrawal, tolerance, and loss of control. In substance abuse, “withdrawal” manifests in physical and psychological symptoms upon abstaining from the drug of choice. “Tolerance” means that it takes more and more of the same drug to get the same effect. “Loss of […]