Suppose you could take all the spiritual paths practiced worldwide, put them into a cauldron, and boil them down to their essence. What would remain? I believe that the common thread to all spiritual practices is a feeling of connection. In this sense, spirituality means connection to others, or connection to the divine, or simply connection to nature and to ourselves. In short: spirituality is connectedness. If you think back on the spiritual experiences you’ve had in your lifetime, do recall feeling connected on some level? Many describe spiritual experiences as a sense of oneness. Oneness implies connection to something outside ourselves. In this sense, even an agnostic or an atheist could achieve spirituality through connection.

7.0 Spirituality

Most people on Earth practice some sort of spirituality. Obviously, spirituality must be pretty important to people. This is probably because there are some obvious benefits to having a spiritual practice. Studies tend to back this up (Benson, 1996). What the Benson’s study shows is that the type of spirituality that people practice doesn’t really matter. That is, the benefits of following a spiritual path (as opposed to a religion) aren’t specific to the spiritual path you follow. No matter the path, the rewards are the same. Some of these rewards include relief from depression and anxiety, higher self-esteem, stress reduction, and higher self-efficacy.

Since the particular type of spirituality is secondary to the benefits gained (in other words, since all spiritual paths lead to a better quality of life for those who practice them properly), what is it about spirituality that allows it to work its magic?

I have my own theory about this. Suppose you could take all the spiritual paths practiced worldwide, put them into a cauldron, and boil them down to their essence. What would remain? I believe that the common thread to all spiritual practices is a feeling of connection. Connection to others, or connection to the divine, or simply connection to nature and to ourselves. In short, spirituality is simply the ability to connect.

If you think back on the spiritual experiences you’ve had in your lifetime, do recall feeling connected on some level? Many describe spiritual experiences as a sense of ‘oneness.’ Oneness implies connection to something outside ourselves. This connection could be to other people, to nature, to the Universe, to our own personal concept of God, or even to our own True Selves. In this sense, even an agnostic or an atheist could achieve spirituality through connection. Think for a moment about what being connected means to you, then go on to the next page and answer the questions in the What Connection Means to Me exercise.

 

What Connection Means to Me

Answer the following questions. Try to be as specific as possible in your answers:

When I feel connected in a spiritual sense, I am…

When I feel connected, my thoughts are…

When I feel connected, my feelings are…

When I feel connected, my body is…

When I feel connected, my spirit is… 

7.1 Reconnecting

Sometimes these experiences are described as reconnecting. The idea of reconnecting implies that we are connecting again to something that we somehow became disconnected with in the first place. How we became disconnected isn’t really as important as finding out how to reconnect ourselves. If there are barriers between ourselves and the things we wish to be connected to, we have the ability to remove those barriers. Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy allows connectedness by eliminating the barriers that keep us separate from our concept of the divine, from each other, and from our true selves.

So the way to have truly meaningful spiritual experiences is to remove those things that keep us from connecting.

Take some time right now to think about the things that keep you from feeling connected. Make a list on the next page. Complete the exercise on the next page before reading any further.





 

Things that Keep Me from Feeling Connected

Write down things that keep you from feeling connected to others, to nature, to the divine, and to your own True Self. Try to think of at least three.

1.         ______________________________________________________________________________

2.         ______________________________________________________________________________

3.         ______________________________________________________________________________

4.         ______________________________________________________________________________

5.         ______________________________________________________________________________

6.         ______________________________________________________________________________

7.         ______________________________________________________________________________

8.         ______________________________________________________________________________

9.         ______________________________________________________________________________

10.       ______________________________________________________________________________

11.       ______________________________________________________________________________

12.       ______________________________________________________________________________

13.       ______________________________________________________________________________

14.       ______________________________________________________________________________

15.       ______________________________________________________________________________

16.       ______________________________________________________________________________

17.       ______________________________________________________________________________

18.       ______________________________________________________________________________

19.       ______________________________________________________________________________

20.       ______________________________________________________________________________

Now that you’ve completed your list, look at it again. Of all the things you’ve listed, how many of those things on your list have to do with barriers within yourself? How many of them have to do with other people? How many of them have to do with your circumstances or the environment in which you live?

What would it take to remove those barriers? Remember, you can’t change others, you can only change yourself. So focus on things that would involve activities and actions that are within your power to change about yourself. For example, you may have a person in your life who has a wonderful talent for making you angry. This anger keeps you from feeling connected to this person. Since you can’t change the other person, is there something you could change about yourself that would make dealing with this person easier and less stressful?

Brainstorm a number of solutions to removing the barriers you’ve listed above. If the answers are too difficult for now, don’t be discouraged. Set this list aside and come back to it when you’ve completed this entire section of the handbook.

 

7.2 Faces and Masks

Now that we’ve thought a bit about the barriers to connectedness we find in our own lives, how do we go about changing those barriers so that we can achieve connection?

Think for a moment about the different faces we wear each day. If you’re interacting with people at work, do they see the same person that your family sees, or do you wear a different face in work situations? When you’re at school, do you interact with people in the same way that you would interact with someone on a date? If you are at church, mosque, or temple, do you act in the same way you would act if you were out for a night on the town?

If you’re like most people, you probably have different masks that you wear for different social situations.

Now think back on your list above. Are there any people on your list who prevent you from feeling connected?

Think about those people for a moment. Be totally honest with yourself. Do you think that those people act the same way in all social situations, or do they wear masks as well? Pick out one individual with whom you have difficulty feeling connected. Think of the mask they wear that seems to act as a barrier to your ability to connect with them. How much of that mask is their natural inclination, and how much of it is their response to the mask that you wear when you are with them?

This is not to say that you are responsible for the rude or reprehensible behavior of others. Each individual is responsible for his or her own behavior. The idea here is to evaluate your own responses to such behavior. Is there anything you can change that might make it easier to connect with them? If so, try it and see if their behavior improves. If, after changing the way you respond, you still find the person difficult to connect with, or even to be around, then you’ve done all you can do to correct the situation. At that point, your part in the problem is over and done with, and you will have to practice mindful acceptance. If you’ve done everything you can to try to get along with a difficult person, and they’re still being difficult, then this is usually a good indication that the problem lies with the other person and not with yourself.

With this idea in mind, you can also try to see beyond the mask that the other person is wearing. Masks are often worn to hide a person’s true identity. Is the other person trying to hide something? Could it be that they wear the mask out of fear of letting someone see who they really are? What could you do to help them change their mask? Even if you can’t get them to put on a different face with you or with others, you may come to understand that their mask hides a deep hurt, and their mask is their way of protecting themselves from further hurt.

What sort of mask do you wear with the world? What sort of mask would you like to wear? If your True Self were a mask, what would it look like? Go on to the Faces and Masks exercise on the next page to find out.

Faces and Masks Exercise      

We all have different faces (masks) that we present to others. These masks sometimes change depending on the person and/or the situation. The psychoanalyst Carl Jung called these masks the persona. Persona is Latin for “mask.” In ancient Rome actors often wore masks that portrayed the characters they were playing.

We all have characters, or masks, that we like to put on from time to time. For this exercise, we’re going to create a mask for the character of your own True Self.

To begin this exercise, meditate for a while on the nature and character of your own True Self. The True Self, for the purposes of this exercise, is the person you are if you are living up to your own highest aspirations for yourself.

When you have a good image of your own True Self in mind, answer the following questions before going on to the next page:

What is the nature of your True Self? Are you a lover, a warrior, a sage, a teacher, a trickster, a peacemaker, or something else? What word best describes who you are?

What are the elements of nature that might reflect the nature of your own True Self? Are you patient like a mountain? Strong like an oak? Wise like an owl? Playful like a coyote? What elements of nature best describe who you are?

How might these elements of nature assist you in finding your True Self? When you create your mask, how might you incorporate these elements into its design?

CREATING YOUR MASK

Now that you have a good idea of which elements to incorporate into your mask, gather the materials to make it. Try to focus on natural materials as much as possible, using wood, feathers, twigs, leaves, leather, etc. Many Native American tribes used dried gourds for this purpose.

When you create your mask, hold the idea in mind that it is a representation of your True Self; the person you are in the process of becoming. As such, when finished the mask should tell your own story in such a way that anyone looking at it would have a good idea of who you are.

When you have finished constructing your mask, go on to the next section of this worksheet and answer the questions below. Do not attempt to answer these questions until you have completed your mask. It may help, when answering the questions below, to meditate or take a walk in the woods first.

REFLECTIONS ON THE ‘TRUE SELF’ MASK

Now that you have completed your mask, what did the exercise teach you about your own body and how you relate to it? Be as specific as possible when answering.

Now that you have completed your mask, what did the exercise teach you about your own body and how you relate to it? Be as specific as possible when answering.

Now that you have completed your mask, what did the exercise teach you about the way you think about your True Self? Be as specific as possible when answering.

Now that you have completed your mask, what did the exercise teach you about your passions? About what you really care about, and what gives your life meaning? Be as specific as possible when answering.

Now that you have completed your mask, what did the exercise teach you about your own spiritual development? Be as specific as possible when answering.

Imagine an archaeologist digs up your mask a thousand years in the future. What might this archaeologist conclude about the person who wore it? Would the mask be a good representation of who you are? Be as specific as possible when answering.

 

7.3 Connecting

Go back to your list of barriers to connectedness. Keeping crystal ball thinking in mind, how many of those barriers having to do with other people could you transform or even eliminate if you throw away your crystal ball? If you can dissolve those barriers by eliminating your own crystal ball thinking, would that help you to connect?

Maybe there are people on your list who will still present barriers, even if you throw away your crystal ball. If this is the case, and you’ve done everything you can imagine to eliminate your own barriers, then the time has come to make a choice. Consider why it is important to you to connect to this person, and whether or not the effort is worth it if they’re not willing to reciprocate. Consider all the positives and negatives before making a decision. Once you are certain you have considered all the options, then make your decision, and make your decision final.

Perhaps it’s not a person that is helping to create a barrier to your connectedness. Perhaps it’s a place, or a situation, or even yourself. The way to eliminate the barriers in this instance is to try to decide why a connection is important in the first place. Remember that connection in this sense is a spiritual sort of connection; what C.G. Jung called the numinous. Such a connection is a transcendent experience; one that changes the way you see things, and changes the way you view your place in the world. It is a deep, spiritual sense of belonging.

Think about the ways you’d like to feel connected in this context. Are there already ways in your life where you feel this connection? What is different about these connections? Evaluate the ways that you feel disconnected, and consider what would be different if you were not so disconnected.

One of the values of ecotherapy is that nature gives us something to be connected to. It’s a safe place to practice our connection skills. For example, do you have a pet? Do you feel connected to your pet? Have you ever had an argument with your pet that led you to feel disconnected? Think about these questions as you read the following:

•      Has your pet ever started an argument with you?

•      Does your pet ever talk back?

•      Does your pet ever disagree with you in a conversation?

•      Has your pet ever asked you for your car keys?

•      Has your pet ever dumped you for another human?

•      Has your pet ever asked you for a loan?

•      Has any pet borrowed your tools and then not returned them?

•      Did your pet ever ask you if you wanted him to guard your property?

•      Has a pet ever done any of the thousand things that humans have done to disappoint you?

It may be argued that pets are incapable of rational thought, but humans have also, on occasion, displayed a talent for irrational thinking. What pets are capable of is unconditional acceptance. Because of this ability, animals are the ideal subjects with which to practice connecting.

Likewise, the forest, the wilderness, even a garden, has no agenda and nothing to gain by withholding connections. A garden will not throw up any barriers to connection. This means that nature is the ideal environment for practicing connectivity skills. Think for a moment about those experiences of connection that would help you to gain a spiritual quality to your day-to-day living, then go on to complete the exercise on the next page.

Ways I’d Like to Feel Connected

Go back to your list of Things That Keep Me from Feeling Connected. For all of those things on your list that act as barriers to connection, there are also things that you would like to be connected to, but are not. List the things you’d like to be connected to below. Keep the focus on things that would foster a spiritual connection of unconditional acceptance, love, and security. The things on this list can be things from the previous list, or entirely new things, or people. Try to think of at least three:

1.         ______________________________________________________________________________

2.         ______________________________________________________________________________

3.         ______________________________________________________________________________

4.         ______________________________________________________________________________

5.         ______________________________________________________________________________

6.         ______________________________________________________________________________

7.         ______________________________________________________________________________

8.         ______________________________________________________________________________

9.         ______________________________________________________________________________

10.       ______________________________________________________________________________

11.       ______________________________________________________________________________

12.       ______________________________________________________________________________

13.       ______________________________________________________________________________

14.       ______________________________________________________________________________

15.       ______________________________________________________________________________

16.       ______________________________________________________________________________

17.       ______________________________________________________________________________

18.       ______________________________________________________________________________

19.       ______________________________________________________________________________

20.       ______________________________________________________________________________

Now look at the list above. How many of the things you listed are people? How many are places? How many are things? For each item on the list, ask yourself if there was ever a time when you felt connected, but somehow the connection was lost. If this is the case, what happened? What changed? Did the person, place or thing change, or did you?

If there are things on your list with which you’ve never felt a connection, but would like to, ask yourself if there’s a similar circumstance in which you did feel a connection to something or someone else. Could that connectedness translate over to the item on your list? How?

Finally, ask yourself why a sense of connection with the items on the list is important to you in order to achieve a spiritual experience. Dig really deep, and be specific. Could you achieve a spiritual connection in some other way with something or someone else besides what you listed?

 

7.4 Connecting with Nature: A Great Place to Start

Look again at your list from the previous exercise. For the time being, eliminate any connections that have to do with people. Human relationships are complex and sometimes demanding, so we’re going to start with something a bit easier. That something is nature. Since nature is usually non-threatening (unless you find yourself in a jungle or an African savannah teeming with hungry lions!), it’s a great place to start forming spiritual connections.

What ways could you feel more connected to nature? Think back on times in your past when you felt that connection. Perhaps it was a fishing trip, or a nature hike, or a camping trip. Maybe you felt connected while skiing or skydiving or canoeing. If there was ever a time when you felt at peace with yourself and your surroundings, look back on it and ask yourself how you could recapture that experience. What was different about it? Where were you? What were you doing?

You may not live in an area where you can go out into the woods every day, but studies have shown that even having a few houseplants or listening to recordings of nature sounds can have a calming and soothing effect. So even if you can’t go on a three-mile nature hike every day, you can find some ways to bring more nature into your immediate surroundings.

 

7.5 How Important is Connectivity?

We all need to feel connected to someone or something outside ourselves. Not only is such a connection a means of developing emotional security, but it is also necessary for physical health and even for proper brain development. Ongoing studies with feral children (children who are raised with extreme neglect; i.e., with little or no opportunity to connect with other human beings) continue to demonstrate the extremely detrimental effects such a lack of connection can produce.

MRI scans demonstrate the importance of connectivity

MRI scans of feral children, when compared to children who were raised in loving families, show marked differences. Children raised in situations in which they have been deprived of human contact show remarkable deficits in development of many critical areas of the brain, including the areas responsible for emotional regulation, good judgment, self-control and concentration. Such studies with feral children demonstrate that humans need connections with other humans in order to develop properly. So connectivity is very important!

7.6 Mindful Connecting

Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy is all about connecting; to ourselves, to each other, and to nature. Likewise, relationships are all about connecting to others. One way to connect with others is to eliminate any barriers to connection that may have grown up over time as the relationship progresses. We all have our own little escapes from connection.

When I counsel couples, I advise them to spend time alone together, working on their relationship. Sometimes I get couples who plan dates together, and when they return, I asked them what they did. Some common responses to this question include: “We went to a movie,” or, “We watched television together,” or “We went out to dinner with another couple.” When I question further, I discover that although technically they spent time together, that time was not used in connecting with each other. Instead, they spent the time engaging in various behaviors to avoid that connection.

In the example with the couple going out to dinner with another couple, the guys talked about golf, and the ladies talked about the latest books they’d read. The couple in question spent a total of about five minutes the entire evening actually talking to each other, and most of that conversation revolved around their choices for dinner. Likewise, in the movie and television examples, the couples did spend time together, but their attention was focused on the television and the movie, and not on each other.

If your intention is to connect to your partner for the purpose of building a stronger, more meaningful relationship, then focusing on the television or your golf score or your neighbors is an escape from building that connection.

One of the ways we build connection is through communication; sharing our thoughts, feelings, and needs with each other. This doesn’t necessarily mean that all communication has to consist of talking about things. About 70% of communication is non-verbal. A gentle caress or a kiss on the cheek can communicate volumes.

Mindfulness is shifting out of doing mode and into being mode. This means that to connect with your partner, you don’t have to do anything but to be together. Explore the idea of simply being together, without having to do anything. No movies, no dinners, and perhaps not even any conversation. Just enjoy each other’s company. The ultimate non-verbal message in connecting to each other is: “I’m here for you. I understand you. I care about you.” You don’t need words to communicate this message to each other. Try it sometime and see how it improves your opportunities to connect.

 

7.7 Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy and Connecting

How does Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy fit into the idea of connection?

Pause for a moment and picture you and your partner in a romantic outdoor setting, far away from any distractions. You may picture yourselves hiking through the woods, or picnicking on the beach. Now think about the ways you escape connecting with each other, and ask yourselves how many of those ways would still be there if you were both outdoors in the setting you’ve just pictured.

For example, your partner may have listed “watching television” as one of their escapes. If you’re picturing you and your partner sitting on the beach, would watching television even be an issue?

On the other hand, your partner may have listed, “ignoring you” as one of their escapes. If you were picnicking on the beach, it might still be possible for your partner to ignore you. If that’s the case, you’ll have to dig a little more deeply. You can talk about it together and decide together if it would still be an issue in a romantic outdoor setting.

Go over the ways you and your partner escape connecting with each other. How many of them have to do with things that occur in indoor settings? How many of them have to do with things that occur in outdoor settings? If you’re like most people, most of your escapes potentially take place in indoor environments where there are things like television, Facebook, and housework. If so, you can see that one way of connecting, without potential distractions or escapes, is to go outdoors and spend time together.

Now go back to your Things That Keep Me from Feeling Connected list. Have they changed? Find the top thing from your list that is currently keeping you from feeling connected to your True Self. Hold that barrier to connection in your mind for a moment. We’re going to take a closer look at it by going inside.

Before going any further, think about your number one barrier to connecting with your True Self, and answer the following questions:

•      What is the exact nature of this barrier? Physical or mental?

•      Is this barrier to connection a permanent barrier, or a temporary one?

•      Is this barrier to connection a pervasive one, or a situation-specific one?

•      Is this barrier to connection a personal one, or something external to you?

•      Is it something you can change, or is it something you have to accept?

•      Is it something you have control over?

•      Is it something you can rephrase in order to turn it into a personal truth?

 

Now visualize yourself drawing a circle around this barrier to connection in your own mind.

Allow yourself to move from Doing Mode into Being Mode. Simply observe what’s going on inside of this imaginary circle you’ve drawn around your barrier to connection. Are you able to pinpoint anything about your number one barrier to connecting with your True Self? Did you discover anything that might help you to remove it or to change it so that it is no longer a barrier? If you cannot change it, can you accept it so that it no longer prevents you from living in your True Self?

Did this exercise help you to find a way to make it easier to connect to your True Self?


7.8 Memes

From the Closer Look exercises on the previous pages, were you able to pinpoint anything about your number one barrier to connecting with your True Self? Did you discover anything that might help you to remove it or to change it so that it is no longer a barrier? If you cannot change it, can you accept it so that it no longer prevents you from living in your True Self? If you cannot change it, and find it difficult to accept as it is, is there any way you could change the way you think about it so that it is no longer a problem? What would you need to let go of in order to accomplish this?

What behaviors might you be engaging in that might make this transition to connecting with your True Self difficult?

Behaviors are nothing more than habits of thought and action. The best thing about habits is that they can be broken. A habit of thought or action is called a meme. No, we’re not talking about those cute pictures with witty sayings that get passed around on the Internet! A meme in this sense is an idea that gets passed on from one person to another. The word meme comes from the Greek word mimeo, meaning “imitated thing.”

Memes are to personality as genes are to an organism. If we change the DNA structure of an organism, we change the entire organism. Likewise, if we can change our memes, we can change our world!

Consider memes as little bits and pieces of your personality. They are core ideas that branch off and form more ideas, creating constellations of thought patterns and behaviors. There are memes that are core ideas, and memes that are branch ideas. Imagine these meme constellations as trees. The memes that make up the trunk of the tree are the core beliefs from which the branching memes spring.

If there are memes that are causing you difficulty in life, the best way to change them is to find the trunk of this tree. If you strike at the branches without pulling the tree up by its roots, the branches will continue to grow back. These “tree trunk” memes are called “root memes.”

If you can get to a root meme and change it, then all the other memes that feed off of that root meme will change as well. Looking back to your list of Top Ten Things That Keep Me from Feeling Connected, find your number one barrier to connection with your True Self. Now look at the other things on your list. Can you see any patterns of relationship among these memes? If so, then they are all probably tied to a root meme. Find the patterns among your barriers to connection. Which one seems to be most important? That is, which one seems to be the one that all the others are connected to? That one is probably the root meme that is acting as a barrier to connection.

You may see no relationship whatsoever among your top ten barriers to connection. If that is the case, they may all be root memes. Or perhaps there are two or more groups of patterns. In this case, you have more than one root meme at play. Go over your list again, and try to isolate all of the root memes that are acting as barriers to connection with your True Self.

List them in the exercise on the next page.


Root Memes that Act as Barriers to Connection    

What personal memes might be keeping you from feeling more connected to nature, to others, and to your own True Self? List them below:

  1. ____________________________________________________________________________
  2. ____________________________________________________________________________
  3. ____________________________________________________________________________
  4. ____________________________________________________________________________
  5. ____________________________________________________________________________
  6. ____________________________________________________________________________
  7. ____________________________________________________________________________
  8. ____________________________________________________________________________
  9. ____________________________________________________________________________
  10. ____________________________________________________________________________
  11. ____________________________________________________________________________
  12. ____________________________________________________________________________
  13. ____________________________________________________________________________
  14. ____________________________________________________________________________
  15. ____________________________________________________________________________
  16. ____________________________________________________________________________
  17. ____________________________________________________________________________
  18. ____________________________________________________________________________
  19. ____________________________________________________________________________
  20. ____________________________________________________________________________

 

Now that you have identified some of those root memes, pick the one that seems the most prominent or the most significant, and answer the following questions:

What is the nature of the problem meme/habit? (What do I hope to achieve in thinking/behaving this way? What is my Intention?)

How is the problem maintained? (Which behaviors do I want to change? Is there a way to change how I think about it so that it is no longer a problem?)

Why do I engage in this meme/habit in the first place? (Why is this behavior important to me?  What would I lose if I let it go? What would I gain? What is my motivation for continuing this belief/meme?)

 

Practice this exercise whenever you feel disconnected from others, from nature, and from yourself. The more often you practice it, the easier it will become to re-connect.

Optional Activity: The Bell Branch

The Bell Branch is a branch selected from a tree that is meaningful to you. Once you have selected it, you may adorn it with colorful ribbons, feathers, or other decorations.

This branch is also adorned with bells. Each bell tied to your Bell Branch should represent a significant event in your life. The birth of a child might deserve a bell. A wedding might also call for a bell to be tied to your bell branch, as might a graduation, the passing of a loved one, a new job, or a new home.

The Bell Branch is a living record of the significant events in your life. You may use it in your sacred space for consecration and purification, or simply as a reminder of where you’ve been.

 If you completed the optional activity, “Your Birth Tree,” from Session 6, you may wish to select this branch from your birth tree. If you did not compete that activity, you may choose any tree to harvest your Bell Branch.

Select your tree and ask its permission to take a branch, then express your thanks once permission is received. Make an offering to your tree in the spirit of gratitude, and select your branch.

Once it has been selected, write or carve your name on it and decorate it with symbols that are meaningful to you.

Each time you have a significant event in your life, add a bell to your Bell Branch.

When you shake your branch, all of the bells will remind you of all of those significant events. The music that they make will be the rites of passage of your life singing back to you.


7.9 Change Your Memes, Change Your World

In the previous exercise, did you learn anything new about how to remove your barriers to connection with your True Self? Did it change your perception of your barriers to connection? Did it change your assumptions about how you interact with the world and with your True Self?

Every day we create our own reality by our thoughts, feelings and actions. Our thoughts become our behaviors, and our behaviors become our thoughts. It makes perfect sense that if we have a set of beliefs (or memes), that our behaviors will stem from those thoughts. In other words, we act based on our beliefs. But it may seem counterintuitive that if we change our behaviors, we can change our thoughts as well. If this is a difficult concept for you, then the next time you’re in a bad mood, force yourself to smile, even if you don’t feel like it. It may help to smile at yourself in a mirror. Try smiling for five minutes in a row, even if you have to force it, and watch what happens to your thoughts!

When I counsel people with self-esteem issues, I have them meditate each day for at least ten minutes, repeating positive affirmations about themselves while doing so. I tell them to keep doing it, even though at first it may feel silly or awkward. I tell them to keep doing it even if they don’t feel it to be true about themselves or even if they don’t feel it. After a few weeks of engaging in the practice, the vast majority of my clients tell me that they have observed their own thoughts about themselves change. They began to believe what they’d been telling themselves during these meditations!

If you’ve been doing things a certain way all of your life, then doing things differently is bound to feel a little unnatural and strange at first, if for no other reason than the fact that they are new and unfamiliar to you. But if you give yourself some time, these new ways of being will become familiar, and soon you’ll be well on your way to living in True Self.