Suppose you could take all the spiritual paths practiced worldwide, put them into a cauldron, and boil them down to their essence. What would remain? I believe that the common thread to all spiritual practices is a feeling of connection. In this sense, spirituality means connection to others, or connection to the divine, or simply connection to nature and to ourselves. In short: spirituality is connectedness. If you think back on the spiritual experiences you’ve had in your lifetime, do recall feeling connected on some level? Many describe spiritual experiences as a sense of oneness. Oneness implies connection to something outside ourselves. In this sense, even an agnostic or an atheist could achieve spirituality through connection.

Facilitator Notes for Session 7: Connecting

PREPARATION

Read the Session 7 Course Materials, review the exercises listed in the chapter and try them at least once yourself prior to facilitating the group.

Practice presenting the materials in this session alone before facilitating the session so you will have a good idea of how long it will take you, given your own speaking and presentation style, to go over critical materials. Adjust by adding or leaving out materials as needed, but do not cut key concepts or Priority 1 exercises and activities if at all possible. Note that there are a lot of exercises in this particular session, so you will have to be particularly aware of the time factor when facilitating the various exercises.

KEY CONCEPTS

 (Key concepts are those concepts that are foundational principles of Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy, and must be covered in the session): Connecting; reconnecting; Faces and Masks; mindful connecting; memes, and root memes

SECONDARY CONCEPTS

(Secondary concepts are those concepts that are not foundational, but that are important if the facilitator can work them into the session – otherwise students will read about them on their own in the reading assignments): Spirituality as connectedness; barriers to connection; the persona; the numinous; the Bell Branch

INTRODUCTION

As an icebreaker exercise, ask participants to discuss their experiences with connectivity. You may begin by asking them what sorts of things help them to feel connected, or what connection means to them. Many equate connection with a feeling of love; however, we use “connection” instead of “love” because the term has less emotional baggage. Just be aware that many will say that connection equals love.

If homework was assigned (e.g. exercises from the workbook that there wasn’t time for at the previous session), ask if there were any questions about the materials and have students share their experiences in completing the activities. Try not to spend more than ten minutes or so on this portion of the session.

NOTE: The mask making exercise from Section 7.2 Faces and Masks will require most of the session. You may want to skip straight ahead to that activity after briefly discussing the concepts of spirituality and connectivity. Students may continue to work on their masks as you go over the other activities in the chapter. Make sure to do the Things That Keep Me from Feeling Connected exercise before you begin the mask-making activity, so that the topic will be fresh on your students’ minds as they begin to make their masks.

SESSION 7 OUTLINE

7.0 Spirituality

Emphasize that for the purposes of this course and program, spirituality is defined as a sense of connection. This means that anybody, regardless of their spiritual or religious inclination or lack thereof, could benefit from connectivity. You might wish to go around the room and ask each participant how they define spirituality, and how they define connection. Ask them to link the two if possible. This prepares everyone for the exercise to follow.

EXERCISE: What Connection Means to Me PRIORITY 1

With their answers to the questions in Section 7.0 above fresh on their minds, have everyone complete this exercise. When everyone is done, you may wish to facilitate a discussion on how spiritual connection manifests in thoughts, feelings, mind and body. Can your students define what connection means using their thoughts, feelings, mind and body? Is there an element of connectivity in a spiritual sense that is beyond thoughts and feelings?

7.1 Reconnecting

Unless a person experienced some sort of deep childhood trauma, most children feel more spiritually connected to life and to nature than most adults. To them, every day brings a new experience full of wonder. During this section’s discussion I often ask my students to close their eyes and visualize a time from their childhood when they felt deeply connected on a spiritual level. I then ask them if they were indoors or outdoors when this happened. If they were indoors, that’s okay too. Different people connect in different ways. We’re all different, and some people just naturally connect better indoors. What’s more important is whether or not they had a deep sense of spiritual connection in childhood, and if it is possible to recapture that feeling in adulthood.

Note also that we’re not trying to force a particular type of spirituality or even a belief in any sort of divine. Spiritual connection in this sense is just a feeling of awe and wonder at the bounty of life and nature. You don’t have to believe in any sort of god or divinity to have such an experience.

A final word of caution: Some people, especially those who had traumatic childhoods, might not be able to think of any time in their lives when they felt connected at a spiritual level. That’s okay too. If they can’t come up with anything, ask them what would need to change in their lives in order for them to feel connected. If you get someone who answers this question with “I don’t know,” then the first step would be for them to figure out what would help them to feel connected. The rest of the exercises in this chapter may help them to answer this question, so if you have someone who is having difficulty coming up with something, ask them again at the end of the session if they still don’t know.

EXERCISE: Things that Keep Me from Feeling Connected PRIORITY 1

After your students have identified a moment or two from childhood in which they felt connected, ask them to consider if, as they matured, something might have arisen in their lives that blocked that sense of connection in some way.  Usually such things are life events that interfere with one’s sense of awe and wonder. Ask them to list some of these barriers to connection in the exercise here.

7.2 Faces and Masks

Prepare for this activity by having materials that can be used to make masks. If you are doing the workshop in an outdoor setting, you might have participants forage for natural materials to use when making their masks. A word of caution: It helps to have someone familiar with the local flora and fauna so that participants don’t select things like poison oak, stinging nettles, etc. that can cause allergic reactions. Also caution your students about any “critters” that might be present in the underbrush.

Note that the materials used for constructing masks don’t have to be expensive. You can use paper plates, string, colored ribbons and markers. Most of these materials can be obtained relatively inexpensively from dollar stores. You may also use dried gourds, wood, or other natural materials.

Once students have completed their masks, but prior to completing the Faces and Masks worksheet in the next exercise, have them put on their masks and interact with each other while wearing them. Ask them to note if the way they interact with each other has changed since they put on their masks. One activity I usually have people do while wearing their masks is to introduce themselves to the group as their True Selves. This can be done by having them say a few things about what their true identities are. It doesn’t matter if they’re actually doing the things that they’d like to be doing as their True Selves. For example, if a student wants to be an artist or a musician, but they’ve not yet had the confidence to act on this desire, have them introduce themselves as an artist or a musician. The purpose of this exercise is to determine how they might connect to others differently if they were confident enough to live fully as who they were meant to be. Be mindful of the time when doing this exercise, and try not to spend more than ten or fifteen minutes on it if possible; however, this is the most important exercise of this session, so if you go a little long on this, it’s safe to skip some of the later exercises.

EXERCISE: Faces and Masks PRIORITY 1

Once students have interacted for a time while wearing their masks, have them compete this worksheet. Ask for volunteers to share some of their answers and experiences with this activity. If there is not enough time to complete this activity during the session, have them complete it at home and discuss it at the introduction of the next session. Try to keep the focus on how the answers in the exercise will help participants to connect with others, with nature, and with themselves.

7.3 Connecting

After reviewing the material in this section, ask participants to discuss the ways in which they feel connected, and ways in which they have not felt connected. Focus on the assumptions people make about how they can and should connect to others, to nature, and to self. Crystal ball thinking involves making assumptions about the outcome by trying to predict the future, or by assuming what others might be thinking or feeling. Discuss ways in which participants can set aside their assumptions about the order of things so that they may be open to the possibility of connection.

EXERCISE: Ways I’d Like to Feel Connected PRIORITY 2

For this exercise, keep the focus on assumptions as barriers to connection. In other words, what assumptions might students be making about the situation that might be acting as barriers to connection? What changes would they have to make within themselves in order to allow connectivity to occur more naturally and spontaneously?

Return to the dialectic of acceptance versus change when necessary. We cannot change others. We can only change ourselves. We can ask others to change, but if they refuse, then we must accept their decision and either change ourselves in order to connect, or end the relationship. I often use the acronym “FAST” when discussing barriers to connection. The way to find connection using FAST is:

Flexible: Be flexible and willing to compromise when possible, without sacrificing the core values of your True Self;

Adaptable: Be willing and able to adapt to different circumstances as they arise, always having a back-up plan when possible.

Stable: A stable person isn’t a person who doesn’t have strong emotions. A stable person is one who is able to respond and reflect to emotions in positive ways.

Truthful: Connection is about the ability to be truthful and reflective with others and with self.

7.4 Connecting with Nature: A Great Place to Start

We can begin practicing our skills of connecting with other people by starting with nature. Animal-Assisted Therapy or other forms of therapy using natural settings, such as therapeutic gardening or wilderness adventures, allows us to practice our connectivity skills with nature first, before going on to the more complex interactions inherent in human communication. You might have students discuss ways they connect with nature, and have them list ways that these skills could translate into their connection with people.

7.5 How Important is Connectivity?

This material, while interesting, can be skipped if time is a factor. The “take home” from this section is that connectivity can actually cause structural changes in the brain, wiring it in positive ways that lead to wellbeing.

7.6 Mindful Connecting

While this section is about how couples connect with each other, it can also be about any two people connecting with each other. Being in the moment with anyone is a great opportunity for connection, simply because being in the moment with another individual allows them to feel heard and respected. This is even true if the other person is a child, or even an animal.

When reviewing this section, you might wish to ask your students how many of them are in relationships. You may then generalize the skills in this section so that they apply to any two people and not just two people involved in a romantic relationship.

7.7 Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy and Connecting

If time permits, do the exercises in this section in class. If not, have students complete this exercise at home on their own. Discuss it at the beginning of the next session when you go over the homework for this week. As students discuss the materials, listen to responses and check to see if they are properly integrating the skills of Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy when removing their barriers to connection.

7.8 Memes

Define “meme” for your students. The word “meme” comes from the Greek word “mimeo,” meaning “imitated thing.” So a meme is a behavior or thought that gets copied. A meme is simply a habit of thought or action that gets passed on from one person to another.

A “root meme” is a special type of meme. Root memes are memes from which other memes grow and propagate. For example, I might have several memes like, “I’m going to fail,” and “things will never work out for me,” and “nothing I ever do is good enough.” A root meme for such a cluster of memes might be something like, “I’m inadequate.” If the root meme “I’m inadequate” is eliminated, or replaced with something like, “I’m competent,” then memes like “I’m going to fail,” and “things will never work out for me,” and “nothing I ever do is good enough” automatically disappear, since they are all rooted in the meme, “I’m inadequate.”

If time permits, have students look back to their list of Things That Keep Me from Feeling Connected from Section 7.1. Have them identify any root memes they can find from the list, and facilitate a discussion about them.

EXERCISE: Root Memes that Act as Barriers to Connection PRIORITY 1

Have students complete this exercise in class if at all possible. Once it is completed, facilitate a discussion by asking for volunteers to share their responses with the group. Once volunteers have shared their responses you might ask the group to suggest ways in which individuals might remove such barriers to connection.

7.9 Change Your Memes, Change Your World

Our lives are a series of memes. We are constantly taking in new ideas, rejecting others, and modifying our own memes to conform to new world views. Our individual worlds are made of memes. This means that if we want to change our worlds, all we have to do is change our memes.

Making change in our lives means changing our memes (beliefs) so that we may change our consequences. Stress to your students that this might seem “weird” or “unnatural” at first, and that’s okay. If it felt normal they’d already be doing it. Ask them to stick with it for at least a month before dismissing the skills as ineffective. I tell my students that you don’t get buff by going to the gym one time. You have to keep at it. Likewise, changing your memes means being willing to keep working at it.

I have my own Bell Branch that I bring to this session. Its branch shape is a great way to illustrate the branching nature of memes, and how they all connect to a central meme. The bells on my Bell Branch are also great representations of individual thoughts and ideas that arise from our memes.

HOMEWORK

Have students read the Session 8 materials prior to the next session; have them complete any exercises from Session 7 that weren’t covered in the session itself; ask them to bring any questions about the materials or the exercises to the next session.

DISCUSSION PERIOD

At the one-hour mark, invite group participants to stay for the discussion period. Point out that the thirty-minute post-session discussion period is optional. Note who stays for the discussion, and who leaves. Work at the next session to more actively engage those who leave.