Coyote walked on for many days and many nights, always following the North Star. As he journeyed, it got colder and colder. He spent his nights curled up in hollow places, shivering against the night winds. There were many times when he was tempted to give up, turn around, and go home, but whenever he got into these moods, he remembered the teachings of White Buffalo Woman.
Still, it was lonely on the trail. He often longed for a companion on the journey.
Then one day, as the north wind was blowing particularly hard and the snow was falling so rapidly that he could barely see the trail, he heard the voice of someone singing up ahead in the distance. His curiosity got the better of him and he left the path to see where this music was coming from.
The trail he was on had been running between two hills. He climbed a snow-covered hill to his left so that he could follow the sound of the music. As he crested the hill he saw the glow of a fire in the valley below. The music was coming from the direction of the fire, so he descended the hill into the valley. When he got close to the source of the fire, he saw a figure in the shadows. He drew even closer towards the figure, who stepped out of the shadows at his approach.
He watched as the shadows resolved themselves into the most beautiful creature he had ever seen! She was a Coyote, like he. Her voice was melodious and welcoming as she invited him to warm himself by her fire.
But as he joined her by the fire, he noticed something strange. Her fire glowed with a sickly greenish hue, and it barely contained any warmth at all. The paltry heat from her fire was just enough to take the chill from his bones, but no more. Nonetheless, a little heat was better than no heat at all, so he settled down to join her beside her fire.
She told him her name was Coyote Woman, and asked what brought him to this place, so far from home. Coyote told her the story of his journey, and about how Chief Buffalo had sent him on this quest to bring back fire for the People.
She listened to his story, and then told him about herself. Like Coyote, she enjoyed playing tricks on her tribe. Like Coyote, she was a lover of practical jokes and pranks. But one day her tribe grew weary of her games, and they banished her. Since that time she had been wandering alone. In her wanderings she had met many witches and sorcerers from the North, and one of them had taught her how to capture fire from the fireflies. The fire they were sitting beside now had been kindled with such magic.
They sat by Coyote Woman’s magical fire and talked well into the night. They awoke the next morning all wrapped up in each other.
Coyote Woman smiled at Coyote and said, “I know you are on a quest, but stay a while with me and rest before you continue your journey. My fire is warm, and I enjoy your company.”
So Coyote agreed to stay with her for a time.
They laughed and played together, but as days stretched into weeks, and the days grew shorter and the nights grew colder, Coyote began to think of the People at home, and how maybe it was time for him to be on his way so that he could continue to seek the fire. He tried to tell Coyote Woman this, and as he spoke, she grew angry.
“Why should you care so much about your precious People, when they have sent you out alone into the cold and dark to fend for yourself?” she cried. “Stay here with me, and forget about your tribe!”
Coyote thought about this, but had no answer. So he said nothing.
A few days later, he again thought about the People, and about how they were depending on him. Again he told Coyote Woman that he needed to be on his way. This time she grew even angrier.
“If you really care so much about the people who sent you out into the wilderness to die, then why not take some of my fire to them? There’s no need to go out into the unknown when there is fire right here. You have no way of even knowing if you might find what you seek!”
Coyote thought about her words. He had to agree that there was some wisdom in what she was saying, but somehow such a course of action just didn’t feel right. He thought about what White Buffalo Woman had said, and how she had told him that every seeker must find his own fire. So he said nothing to Coyote Woman.
Time passed. The days continued to grow colder, and the world changed around him. Everything was covered in snow. Even the stars in the sky looked different. A sense of urgency about his journey overtook him. Finally, he came up with a plan, and went to Coyote Woman.
“I feel myself torn between my duty to the quest and my loyalty to you,” he began, “But I think I have found a way to resolve this problem. Come with me on my journey. If I do not find what I am looking for, then we can return to this place and to your magical fire. If I do find what I am looking for, I can take the sacred fire back to my People. I am sure that you would be welcome among them.”
Coyote Woman hesitated at first, but eventually she agreed to go with Coyote. Coyote breathed a sigh of relief and they snuggled together by the fire to fall asleep.
Coyote woke the next morning, shivering. When he opened his eyes, Coyote Woman’s magical fire was gone. As he sprung to full alertness, he looked around the fire circle to discover that Coyote Woman herself was also gone! He frantically searched the woods near where the fire had been, but there was no trace of her. She had left no paw prints in the snow. There wasn’t even a scent to mark her passing.
Heartbroken, Coyote decided that there was nothing left to do but to continue the quest, so he took his bearings and headed north.
As he walked, he thought about how Coyote Woman had tricked him into believing that she would come along with him. The more he thought about it, the angrier he became. The angrier he became, the more he thought about her betrayal. He began to think about how he might seek vengeance on her.
As he trotted along, plotting his revenge, a thought occurred to him.
One of the reasons he had been so attracted to her was that she was just like him in so many ways. And like her, he loved playing tricks on others. But now that the shoe was on the other foot, Coyote knew exactly how the victims of his pranks felt. How could he be angry at her for doing to him what he had done to so many others?
With this realization, the anger began
to melt away, and he was able to continue on his journey with a clear
conscience.
8.0 The Tempter’s Supreme Ordeal
At this point in the quest, Coyote has encountered the Tempter in the form of an attractive female partner who tries to lure him away from his intentions. Campbell originally referred to this phase as “Woman as Temptress.” The gender bias of referring to the Temptress as a woman is a by-product of centuries of the male bias in mythology from around the world. The Temptress can just as easily be a Tempter, as when Lucifer tempted Jesus with all the wealth of the world if he would give up his seeker’s journey. In any case, the Tempter/Temptress is anything which might try to distract you from your goal of living in True Self.
Whichever sex you choose to picture the Tempter, its purpose is to entice you with the easy way out. The Tempter manifests in shortcuts, laziness, and leaving things half-done. The lesson to be learned by an encounter with the Tempter is that if we cheat by taking a shortcut on the road to enlightenment, we are ultimately only cheating ourselves.
The Tempter will tax your integrity and character, but there is a purpose in this trial. By testing your character, the Tempter gives you an opportunity to display your honor and commitment to the path. True honor is how we act when nobody is watching, and the Tempter gives us the opportunity to practice that honor. He will attempt to sway us from the path and try to prevent us from owning the darker parts of ourselves. If the Tempter is successful at this aim, we will fail to achieve Atonement with the Father on the next leg of the journey.
When we meet face-to-face with the Tempter, we must encounter the Supreme Ordeal. This Supreme Ordeal manifests as a deep inner spiritual, emotional or mental challenge that the Seeker must face and defeat. It signals its arrival when the Seeker realizes that things cannot go on as they are now. The Tempter must be defeated before any further progress can be made. It may mean facing our greatest fears or defeating our deadliest foes.
The Supreme Ordeal will require us to draw upon all of our skills and energy to conquer the challenge. After being reborn as a spiritual seeker on the path of ecospirituality, we can never return to the old life. The Tempter will challenge our commitment to the new path by insisting that we retreat to the comfort of the known rather than to face the challenges of the unknown. Only supreme commitment to the quest can gain a victory against the Supreme Ordeal.
8.1 Acceptance
Think back for a moment to a time in your life when you knew exactly who you were, and what you wanted to be. It may have been a time in your childhood, or a time later on in your life. Or it may be that you’ve never thought about exactly who you were and who you wanted to be. That’s okay too. Perhaps you’ve never just learned how to acknowledge your own motivations in this way. If this is the case, close your eyes and think for a moment about who you would be if there were no barriers keeping you from living up to your own potential. Imagine your own Supernatural Aid has showed up and offered you the power to transform yourself. Who would you become?
The vision you have right now in your mind is your True Self.
Hold that vision firmly in your mind as you contemplate your own Supreme Ordeal.
Your True Self is that part of you that recognizes when you’ve done something in character for you. It is the part of you that is the internal observer; the part that holds your highest aspirations and your highest dreams for yourself. It is the part of you that holds your core values. The Humanist psychotherapist Carl Rogers called it your Ideal Self. According to Rogers, the Ideal Self is the person you would be if you could “get out of your own way” and dare to be who you were meant to be.
The ultimate goal of ecospirituality is to find the road to your own True Self, and to live more fully in it. If you’re not living in your True Self, what is it that is keeping you from doing so? The Way of the Coyote may help you to answer this question.
8.2 The Supreme Ordeal
For purposes of ecospirituality, the Supreme Ordeal can be conceptualized as “anything that keeps us from living in True Self, according to our own true nature.”
This could be thoughts like, “change is too hard, and I can’t do this.” It could also be any thoughts or beliefs that are encouraging us to go back to familiar, though unproductive, patterns of thinking and believing. These thoughts could come from ourselves, or they could come from friends or family who might be giving us messages that we can’t change. Sometimes they might even mean well by giving us these messages, but ultimately we are responsible for our own lives, and we can never live by another’s judgment of who we are and what we should be if we’re going to live in True Self. True Self is, by definition, your own concept of self, and another can never know what it is like to be you, nor ultimately choose a life path for you.
Once we set out on the road to change that leads to ecospirituality, there can be no turning back. Anything that would have us re-trace our steps and go back on the promises we have made to ourselves can be seen as an element of the Tempter confronting us with the Supreme Ordeal. It is the fear of the unknown speaking to us. It may also be the fear of taking responsibility for our own lives and our own destinies. In whatever way the Tempter presents the Supreme Ordeal to you, it is up to you and you alone to accept the challenge.
8.3 Radical Acceptance
The way to conquer the Supreme Ordeal and to begin to live according to your own nature is through radical acceptance. One way of achieving radical acceptance is by living in the now. This is accomplished by focusing on the present moment. To illustrate how this works, think about something that has stressed you out. Now ask yourself, “Did the thing that stressed me out happen in the past, or am I worried about it happening in the future?” How many things that stress you have to do with right now, at this present moment, as you’re reading this sentence? Radical acceptance means choosing right now, in the present moment, which thoughts and feelings about the past or the future to pay attention to.
You might be worried about something that happened in the past, and also worried that it might happen again in the future. Maybe you’ve had past arguments with a family member, and you’re expecting a visit from them. Based on past performance, you’re expecting a future argument. Or maybe you’re stressed out right now about something that happened in the past or in the future. If so, the reason you’re stressed out in the present about something about the past or the future is because you’re choosing to lend your energy and your attention to it in the now.
Think about the nature of your own Supreme Ordeal. What is the Tempter showing you that might make you want to give up on the quest? How many of those things have to do with past or future events? How many have to do with right now, at this very moment? How might radical acceptance help you to survive the Supreme Ordeal and defeat the Tempter?
The point to this exercise is that most of the things that cause us stressful or depressing thoughts are things that involve past or future events. This means that we can consciously choose, right now in the present moment, which thoughts to give our energies to.
It has been said that if you are worried about the past you are depressed, and if you are worried about the future, you are anxious. We have all been hurt in the past, and we tend to make educated guesses about what the future holds for us based on past performance. In this way, the future is just the past projected forward. In either case, whether past or future, the stress or anxiety only exists in our minds. The present is the only moment that’s real, and it’s in the present that we may choose which thoughts and feelings about the past or the future to focus on.
A way to achieve radical acceptance of the things that stress us out is to realize that if we are victims of our circumstances, then we cannot control our lives. This is because we cannot control what goes on outside of ourselves. We cannot control what other people do, and we can rarely control what life throws at us. So if we are victims of our circumstances, we will always be victims. But if we are victims of our beliefs about our circumstances, then we are always free to change our beliefs. Doing so frees us from the tyranny of the past and the anxiety of the future.
We are very good at anticipating the thoughts, actions, and feelings of others and ourselves by placing judgments on motives and intentions. Theoretically, this has survival value. If you’re around a dangerous person, it’s probably a good idea to anticipate what they might do that could threaten your wellbeing. So we’re good at it because we want to minimize danger to ourselves and to our loved ones. The problem comes when we try to guess what another person is feeling or thinking and we get it wrong. How often have you assumed what another person might be thinking or feeling? How often have you guessed incorrectly, and how did that person react?
The past gets brought up quite often between partners who are arguing. The reason for this is that when a partner has done something “wrong” in the past the other partner automatically assumes that this behavior will continue in the future, based on past performance. The problem, from the point of view of the partner being accused of wrongdoing, is that until someone invents a time machine he or she cannot go back in time and correct past mistakes. They can only promise to do better in the future. So if the other partner continues to bring up the past, this individual will be constantly battling the ghosts of previous behaviors.
By constantly bringing up the past, we forestall any opportunity for change in the future, because we judgmentally set up our perception filters only to look for evidence that confirms our assumptions. In this case, the assumption (or judgment) is that the past behavior will continue in the future. If we assume that this is true, then we’re going to have a hard time seeing any evidence that confirms the opposite assumption: That this behavior will not continue in the future.
Likewise, a lot of arguments among family members come about because one family member guesses at what another family member is feeling at a given moment. Consider this conversation:
Jane: “What are you mad about?”
Joe: “I’m not mad about anything.”
Jane: “Yes you are, I can tell. So what is it?”
Joe: “I told you, I’m not mad about anything.”
Jane: “Come on, I know you. I can tell when you’re mad!”
Joe: “I’M NOT MAD!”
In the above scenario, Jane’s interpretation of Joe’s emotional state became a self-fulfilling prophecy. Although Joe wasn’t angry at the start of the conversation, by the end of it he most definitely was. In this case the Tempter presented Jane with the thought that she could read Joe’s mind, and she believed it.
In this context, being accepting means not making assumptions about what the other person is feeling or thinking. The easiest way to tell what a person is thinking or feeling at any given time is to simply ask them, and not to try to guess what their motivations or emotions might be. If you feel tempted to anticipate what a person is thinking or feeling, you are engaging in what I call crystal ball thinking. The Tempter loves to hand us crystal balls and convinces us that we can predict the future with them.
But unless you have such a crystal ball, you cannot possibly know what another person’s thoughts or feelings may be. Of course, if you ask them, they can always be deceptive in their answers, but if they are, then that’s their responsibility, not yours. You’ve given them the opportunity to be truthful about their feelings. If they choose not to be, then you can’t control their need to be emotionally distant. All you are responsible for is acting upon the information they give you, and how you choose to respond to that information.
Another type of crystal ball thinking occurs when we try to make predictions about our own behaviors based on past experience. We can tell when this happens because there’s a tendency to use statements like the following:
“I always screw things up.”
“I’ll never find love.”
“I’m just not good enough for this.”
“I’ll never understand.”
Based on the examples above, you can probably come up with your own statements that reflect your own crystal ball thinking. Such thinking means that the Tempter’s Supreme Ordeal in this case is causing you to view the future in negative ways, only seeing the bad things that could happen while ignoring potential good things.
Note that identifying such statements doesn’t mean that we’re going to try to make them go away. Trying is doing, and one of the objects of ecospirituality is to leave doing mode and enter being mode. So we’re not trying to change this inner dialog the Tempter offers us. Instead, using the skill of mindful acceptance, we are just going to observe and describe these thought cycles to ourselves, without choosing to interact with them or to believe them to be true. Radical acceptance means, in part, that we accept that on occasion our minds are going to engage in these crystal ball thinking cycles, but that doesn’t mean we have to believe what our minds are saying. Mindful acceptance is the knowledge that we are not our thoughts, and we are not our feelings. We are something else. That something else is what gives us the power to survive the Supreme Ordeal.
That something else is the True Self. The True Self accepts that minds occasionally generate thoughts that can be negative. But the True Self also recognizes that these thoughts are just thoughts, and they are neither true nor false unless we choose to believe that they are. True Self recognizes that our brains are going to do what they’re good at, and that’s generating thoughts and feelings. But when we’re living in True Self, we can recognize that even though our brains are going to generate thoughts and feelings, we don’t have to let those thoughts and feelings bully us or push us around. In this way the True Self defeats the Tempter.
The True Self also knows through past experience that if we can enter into being mode and sit quietly with these thoughts and feelings that they may eventually subside. And even if they don’t, True Self knows that those crystal ball thoughts cannot touch us unless we choose to let them. They are only “true” if we decide to make them true by believing what the Tempter is telling us.
The way to escape crystal ball thinking and defeat the Tempter is to remember mindful awareness. Crystal ball thinking is just another type of thinking, and thinking is doing. The goal is to move from troublesome thoughts about the past or anxious thoughts about the future by shifting from doing mode to being mode. In the being mode, there is no past, and there is no future. There is only this present moment. If we are truly connected to the present moment, then we avoid the temptation to blame others or ourselves for our past mistakes, or to try to anticipate what our future mistakes might be.
In being mode, mindful acceptance becomes possible because we are not using our crystal balls to make educated guesses about our own motivations or the motivations of other people. Educated guesses are still guesses, and mindful acceptance is a way of setting such guesses aside while being present in the moment with self and others.
When we learn the art of acceptance, we also learn to accept that whatever other people may be feeling or thinking in the present moment is their responsibility, and not ours. The only responsibility we have to ourselves is to change ourselves in order to accommodate our own sense of wellbeing. When we are able to ground and center ourselves using mindful acceptance, we are able to share our own sense of wellbeing with others.
If this involves changing how we respond to difficult people, the choice is still ours, not the Tempter’s. We get to decide whether such a change is worth it or not. Radical acceptance doesn’t mean accepting any sort of abusive treatment from others. It means being able to set firm and consistent boundaries with abusive people. In some cases, mindful acceptance can mean accepting the fact that an abusive person isn’t going to change, and in that case we will have to accept the loss of the relationship.
That’s okay too. Living in True Self means accepting that you as a worthy child of the universe do not have to accept being abused, whether that abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, or verbal. When we learn this, we have survived the Supreme Ordeal and defeated the Tempter.
- Mindful Acceptance
“Never underestimate your power to change yourself; never overestimate your power to change others.”
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
One of the more difficult life lessons from the Supreme Ordeal and from life in general is that we cannot change the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of others, no matter how much the Tempter might tell us otherwise. We can only change our own thoughts, feelings and behaviors. The best we can do where others are concerned is to ask them to change. Then if they are willing to change, they will; however, if they are not willing to change, then at that point we’ve done all we can do. Further attempts to get them to conform to our expectations of them are doomed to failure because we are not in charge of how other people choose to live their lives.
If we are trying to change others to conform to our expectations of them, we are judging them to be less than perfect (by our standards, at least) as they are now. But what if we set aside attempts to change others? What if, using the power of being non-judgmental, we were able to recognize that people are doing the best they can in the only ways they know how? Would such a change in viewpoint allow us to accept them for who they are?
Mindful acceptance is the ability to set aside our expectations and assumptions about self and about others so that we may be more accepting of our own true selves and of the other people in our lives.
8.5 Basic Mindful Meditation
The Tempter will always manifest in the idea of doing something that is counter to the ultimate objective of the quest for ecospirituality, which is to live in True Self and to seek those moments of awe and wonder that make life worth living. The Supreme Ordeal is the Tempter’s offer to take the easy way out by going back to the old way of doing things.
Mindful meditation is letting go of doing mode, and embracing being mode while focusing on the moment. We may recognize doing mode when we are attempting to problem-solve or when we are stuck in the feeling that we need to do something to fix a particular situation. This is the voice of the Tempter talking. Usually, if we find ourselves stressing out over the need to do something, it’s because we’ve already done several things that didn’t work. If we could do something to fix a particular problem, we’d have probably already done so. So if a lot of our anxiety comes from trying to figure out what to do, it may be a good time to just let go of the idea of doing something and just allow ourselves time for being. This act of letting go allows us to enter being mode because we are accepting ourselves and our thoughts and feelings in the present moment, free of expectations, judgments, or assumptions. It is an exercise in the mindful acceptance of self. It is a way to escape the Supreme Ordeal.
One of the simplest ways to do a mindful meditation is to focus on something in the environment and to allow ourselves to experience it through our senses, without expectations or assumptions. From the perspective of ecospirituality the best way to practice a mindful meditation is to find an outdoor space in which to do this. This is because meditation is about letting go of thoughts and feelings and focusing on the information we get from our senses. Natural environments are rich in physical sensations, so such spaces afford us ample opportunity to move from thinking mode into sensing mode. When practicing mindful meditation outdoors, ask yourself what you see in your meditative space. What sounds do you hear there? What aromas might the space be revealing to you? How does the sun feel on your skin? If you’re sitting or lying on the ground, how does the earth feel beneath you? Explore your meditation site with all of your senses as you let your thoughts and feelings retreat. Come out of your head and into the present moment.
Remember, when doing a meditation, you’re not trying to stop thinking. Telling yourself not to think is just more thinking. Instead, just let your thoughts drift away on their own, like a leaf floating downstream, while focusing only on the information your senses are giving you.
For centuries, Buddhists who practice mindful meditation have focused on the breath. The reason for this is that our breath is always with us. By focusing on our breath we may engage in mindful meditation almost anywhere, at any time by directing our attention to the sensations of our breathing.
Once you have found a suitable outdoor place for meditations, read over the list of steps below at least once to gain an understanding of the process of basic mindful meditation before trying it:
- To begin the basic mindful meditation, find a comfortable position, free of distractions, either sitting or lying down. Align your spine so that you are free of any stress points. If you are wearing any tight clothing, you may wish to loosen it. It is best to practice this meditation at least an hour after eating, as digestion tends to interfere with relaxation.
- When you find your comfortable position, close your eyes.
- Remember that at any time during this meditation, should you encounter thoughts or feelings that become overwhelming to you, it is best to cease the exercise until you can return to it in a calmer state.
- To begin, first center yourself. To center yourself, let go of the cares of the day by turning your attention inward. Focus on nothing but the sensations of your breathing.
- To allow yourself to just ‘be,’ gradually become aware of thoughts and feelings you may be experiencing.
- In the ‘being’ mode, we realize that just because we are having thoughts and feelings, we do not have to act upon them.
- Notice the sensations of your abdomen as it rises and falls with each breath. Turn your attention inward as you focus only on your breathing. You are not trying to go any place; you are not trying to do anything. You are simply present in this moment, observing your body as you breathe.
- As you continue to focus only on your breathing, you may notice that from time to time your mind begins to wander. This is only natural. It’s what minds do. Be aware that if your mind wanders, you don’t have to follow it. Simply wait for your mind to return to you by continuing to focus on your breathing.
- If you do notice your mind wandering, don’t consider this to be a failure. If you start judging yourself for allowing your mind to wander, such thoughts are simply more thoughts, and one of the objects of Mindful Meditation is to empty your mind of thoughts so that you can just ‘be.’ If you find yourself having such thoughts, just return to your breathing and allow your mind to come back to you by returning your attention only to your breathing.
- As you continue to breathe, remember that there is no past, there is no future. There is only this present moment. Allow yourself to be in this moment…here and now. Any time your consciousness wanders, return to the ‘now’ of the present moment.
- To end the meditation, gradually expand your awareness. If you are sitting, allow yourself to become aware of how your body makes contact with the chair. If you are lying down, allow yourself to feel how your body contacts the bed or the floor.
- Continue to expand your consciousness outward until you become aware of your immediate surroundings.
- When you feel you are ready, slowly open your eyes and return to yourself.
- Conclude this mindful meditation by taking with you any insights, thoughts or feelings you may have gained in your practice. As you end this meditation, open your eyes while remaining calm, yet alert and relaxed.
8.6 Overcoming the Tempter
When preparing to defeat the Tempter and to gain victory over the Supreme Ordeal, you should first gain practice with mindful meditation. Practice for at least 20 minutes per day for at least a week. If you are completing this workbook as part of an ecospirituality program, practice a daily meditation until your group’s next session. Many people say they don’t have time to meditate, but when we say we don’t have time what we’re really saying is, “It’s not a priority for me.” This is the voice of the Tempter speaking. You don’t have to make it 20 minutes in a row. If you’re driving to work and find yourself waiting at a traffic light, that’s a good time to do a brief meditation. If you’re standing in line at the grocery store or waiting in your doctor’s lobby, that’s also a good time. You don’t have to sit still and close your eyes in order to meditate. You can do it while walking, or while doing repetitive tasks, or while driving, or during any other daily activity. With enough practice, you can turn almost any activity into an exercise in mindful meditation. A few minutes here and a few minutes there, and you’ll find that you have more than enough time for 20 minutes of meditation per day.
When you’ve had about a week’s worth of practice with mindful meditation in natural environments, you will be ready to go on to exercise 8.6 Overcoming the Tempter.
